I started my job yesterday. It’s part time, 4 hours a day 5 days a week, and I’m being an office assistant. It doesn’t make much money but I wanted something to get me out of the house so I took it.
Still having roommate issues with boyfriend. I wanted to go see him tonight but the roommates said no because they are too busy still moving. 2 weeks have gone by! Why are they still moving?
Nothing else going on. I probably gained this week but been so frustrated with everything going on, not sure I care much.

Too much of a good thing


I hope my friends that are following my plan understand this. You have to find what works for you and do that. I’m here for moral support, through the laughs and the tears, but you gotta find YOUR plan!

Originally posted on Breaking The Yo-Yo:

My friend who is doing very well with her weight loss and exercise efforts has been leaning on me for advice and support. I like that she is addressing her issues but at the same time I very much think this whole thing is a very unique experience. I don’t think one size fits all. We can share tips and thoughts, recipes and motivation and I’m so glad that so many people do, but at the end of the day it all comes down to us, just the me, myself and I approach. I’m trying to not discourage her by encouraging her to try things for herself and not simply do exactly as I’ve done, purely because I think that is the only sure way to long term sustainable healthy lifestyle changes. It’s a little bit tricky to manage without dampening her enthusiasm.

I’m wondering if part of me doesn’t…

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Valentine’s Day weekend

So first: I had no loss but no gain either! I’m still at 207.8. That’s okay. At least I’m still going. I overate but got lots of exercise so it all evened out. Guess I know how to maintain!

The day of the year that you either hate or love is this Saturday. For the past 9 years or so, I have been on the hate side and only hanging out with friends or sitting at home asking myself WHY. This year, I actually have a boyfriend, so why am I unhappy? I got him a wallet, a funny tie, and made him candy. I also got a bag to put it in and a card. I’m a practical person, I’m giving him things he may use. What’s the point of flowers and candy anyway? He and I discussed it last night and he said he didn’t know what to get me either. I’m not a flower person, I am particular about my jewelry so I like buying that on my own, and I don’t eat candy much. Poor boyfriend! Well, I’m feeling like this is silly. Yes, he and I are going to see Alice Cooper in concert and he’s spending the weekend here. I’m unhappy because it feels like both he and I are trying too hard and it’s going to suck. Honestly, I think I’d rather take him and hang out with friends after the concert. According to one of my friends, my gift to him sucks. According to another, and I quote, “That is so practical of you!”. Gee thanks? I dont know, I didn’t know what to do for him! It’s only been a month and a half. I am not trying to go farther than we should yet. Hell, I still have moments of “What the hell am I thinking?” in this relationship. Not that I don’t love him and care about him, more like why did I say that or God, he probably hates me for that. That’s why I’m taking my time.

He kind of threw at me that he was going to come over this entire weekend, I wasn’t prepared for that. I’m happy, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not sure I’m ready to have him stay over when Little Man sleeps in the other room and that EX will be here too and now wants to have his girlfriend come spend the night as well. I don’t think there’s enough room for all of us and 4 adults and Little Man all sharing the potty? Eee! Plus EX’s girlfriend would be bringing her 9 month old? Oh lord help me.

So I sat down with Little Man yesterday to let him know about all the people that would be here over the weekend. Kids ask some crazy questions! Here is a summary of our conversation.
Mommy: hey kiddo, I just wanted you to know ahead of time that boyfriend and EX’s girlfriend and her baby will be staying over this weekend.
Little Man: okay. Mommy, what if boyfriend and daddy’s girlfriend end up liking each other?
Mommy: That won’t happen
Little Man: But what if?
Mommy: Then they would be together.
Little Man: Would you cry?
Mommy: Yes
Little Man: Would daddy cry?
Little Man: Why can’t daddy stay with her? Why do they have to be here? I like boyfriend, can he just move here and daddy move out?
Mommy: Umm…
Little Man: That’s okay mommy. It’s only for one night but she better not try and take boyfriend!
Mommy: Laughing!
So then I tell boyfriend about the conversation and his response: oh hell no! 1. She’s married and cheating on her husband with EX. 2. She’s almost 20 years younger than me. 3. I love you. Do you want Little Man to call me and I’ll let him know I’m not going anywhere?
Yeah, he’s pretty great! I agree! Plus he’s handy too. I sent him a video of my kitchen faucet leak and he tells me this: Here’s the bad news: You need a new faucet. Here’s the good news: Get one and I will install it this weekend for you. So I went to the wonderful Home Depot, bought a new kitchen faucet, and it’s ready to be installed. He even asked me last night if I got it and said it will be done as one of my valentines gifts. I also told him the things I want to finish up in my house to make it ready to rent out and he says, “That’s a lot but I’m sure you can handle it. I can’t believe I was with my ex for so long.” I asked why and he said, “She was bi-polar, depressive, and lazy. I can’t believe I have finally met someone who doesn’t just sit around and do nothing!” And it’s true! We will be sitting down and I’ll jump up and go do dishes or clean or cook, whatever I need to. It’s nice to be complimented that I’m not lazy. So we won’t tell him that I used to be! :)

Anyway, I’ve got to jump in the shower and get ready to take Little Man for his monthly checkup so have a great day! Hugs!

Late, it happens

And NO, I don’t mean the bad kind of late that a woman is scared of when being sexually active! I just mean it’s late and I’m still awake so I can catch everyone up on this crazy life. I don’t believe I have posted all week.

I am typing from my new bed but more about that in a few. I lost 1.8 pounds this week. I think I did pretty well but I also know there is room for improvement like usual. I went over my calories quite a bit in total but only about 200 a day on 3 different days this week which is why I wonder if I’m not eating enough. I also started drinking water when I first wake up so that might be helping. I’m drinking lots more water and peeing a LOT which helps get those bad toxins out of my body. Let’s hope I keep on this path because over this weekend, I didn’t pay much attention to anything! We shall find out on Wednesday. 😊 I’m back on track now though.

Little Man had the second half of his dental work on Friday morning and was so good for the whole thing that, not only did I let him get a chocolate shake from Marble Slab (really good ice cream down here), I also took him to see the new SpongeBob movie. Yes, he missed the whole day of school again but they take attendance at 9am and would be absent even if I took him after the procedure so what the hell! We were not the only people in the theatre either. Quite a few school age kids were there, probably homeschooled kids. I really want to do that! The best part for me was Antonio Banderas playing the pirate. I could give a rats ass about the rest, sorry, just not into SpongeBob. When EX got home after work on Friday, he and Little Man took off for a Cub Scout campout. When they left, I turned on Spotify on my TV, turned the volume to 50, and jammed out until boyfriend came over a couple hours later. When boyfriend told me that he didn’t have to move or help the roommates Saturday, I was SO excited and happy! We stayed in Friday night and watched Stephen King’s A Good Marriage on Netflix which went pretty well with the actual book but of course the book explained tons more than the movie could but still a good movie.

Boyfriend and I finally turned in after the movie and were in the bottom bunk having a great time for over an hour (burned LOTS of calories!) and passed out curled up together. Saturday morning, even more fun burning those calories! We finally got out of bed (omg he has some great staying power and always makes sure I’m done before he will even think about it!) and he made breakfast of eggs and waffles. After breakfast, we ran a few errands (I was out of soda and needed food to make dinner or so I thought). While we were out, we went to the grocery store and poor boyfriend! As we were walking out, there was my Dad checking out! So he met my Dad and that went much better than I thought (I told my neighbor about it and she told me today that she had a tough time not laughing when she saw him at church and in Sunday school!). Basically my Dad said hello, nice to meet you, and told me that I need to call my mother. Not sure if he remembered boyfriend from my date on New Year’s Eve but whenever I remember to call, they’ll ask I’m sure. When we got back, we watched some TV, cuddled, and yeah, again with the fun in the bottom bunk. Only this time, OOPS! We broke the bed!!! It cracked under the thrusts and movements I guess. Or it could have been the weight (together he and I weigh 435). I guess we will never know. But I’m not heartbroken, I hated that bed. Hit my head on the top bunk so many fucking times it’s not funny! So boyfriend and I took apart the bunk beds and threw the ladder and the bottom bunk into the dumpster along with my torn up love-seat. I kept the top bunk though and we moved it into the living room for Little Man. I’ve never seen a kid so happy to not have to climb into bed! He saw it today and got right in telling me that I should have done that to begin with. Well! Geez! How’d I know the bunk bed was shitty and wouldn’t last more than a year? Oh yeah, it was from Walmart, I should have known, right?

So, I could have just bought a basic frame but without a box spring, I knew that wouldn’t work. I asked boyfriend if he would go shopping with me for a bed that we both liked (I plan on him sleeping in it too!). We went to Conn’s and I ended up buying a brand new queen size awesome bed!!! It’s beautiful. A ton of people probably have the same one but I don’t care, I love it! After lying down on 6 different mattresses, I got a temperpedic bed set to go with the frame (only because to keep the 20 year warranty on the bed you have to use the box spring along with the mattress). I also told the sales guy that I didn’t have a bed and he set up delivery for today. Great, right? So the delivery guys came this morning right after boyfriend left to go help start moving boxes to the new house and I was ready to go. While waiting for the delivery guys, boyfriend made toast and sausages, and I posted a picture of the full size mattress from the bottom bunk on Craigslist and got a call within 5 minutes from a nice family that needed it. They showed up in 30 minutes and got a damn good mattress! It was only 1 year old, was a pillow top, and also a Sealy posturepedic! I gave it away too, no sense in asking money for something I would never use again. Anyway, we tried to have fun for a third time last night but getting older sucks sometimes, we just couldn’t go on but we sure did try and had fun doing it!


Saturday night, he drove us to Joe’s Crab Shack to have dinner with his roommates. That was an experience, let me tell you! First, it’s his ex-wife from YEARS ago and her wife of a bit over a year plus they brought their adopted baby girl (so cute!). Second, his ex calls him Ruff Ruff and I’m not cool with that. He’s NOT a dog and after 20 years, haven’t you worn out that name? I don’t care that they were pet names when you guys were married, you’re not married to him now so please use his real name. (He’s got an awesome name, unique, and doesn’t need a nickname, especially a rude one). Third, I understand that you wanted to meet me before I went in your house, I’m the same way, but do you have to bring up your trust issues at the dinner table with me? I already knew about it, you don’t have to keep telling me. Or maybe boyfriend had told me and she didn’t know that, so she was telling me again, but I get it and you don’t have to repeat yourself 3 times. Thanks to my Mom, I notice probably too many flaws in people. Like the fact that his ex is not a real blond, or that I got along with her significant other WAY better than with her. Also that it looks like she shaves her face, she had black stubble. Oh, did I mention how cute stubble looks on boyfriend? It really does! Ok, I know, off subject. Can’t help it! They are both around 5’6, over 400 pounds, and will only consider gastric bypass? That’s not the only option, do research and find out why I told you it’s not a good option! And OMG, complained about all her food while the rest of us didn’t have any problems even though the waitress took her damn time bringing everyone’s dinner.

I’m not going to be rude and say anything about their size because I used to be their size. I’m not going to say anything about his ex wife being a lesbian because it seems like quite a few marriages end because of that. I won’t say anything about looks because I’m definitely not one to be able to talk about that. But they seemed to like me which is good because I have really fallen for boyfriend and would like to keep him, even if they didn’t like me! They are happy together too which is so important in any relationship. I told them about my stomach surgery and why I don’t think anyone actually needs it and why it’s one of the worst things you can do but they’re pretty set on it so I didn’t tell them about the weight loss plan. I didn’t think they would listen. And medical issues out the ass that could be cured if they would go on my plan! Any plan actually! Whatever!


This afternoon, EX brought my child back to me and then left for his friends place. Umm, ok, it’s my weekend to go do what I want but whatever! I also made the meat pie that I was going to make last night (YUMMY). I made 2 of them because I told boyfriend that I would bring him dinner since I was sure he would be wiped out from moving stuff all day. His ex called me to complain that he didn’t move things the way she wanted him too but I’m not mentioning that to him, I am not getting in the middle of that! And why is she calling me anyway? She’s not my BFF! Since EX had left with no specific return time, I had no choice but to take Little Man with me to boyfriends house. I packed the meat pie, my bottle of vodka, a 2 liter of soda, and the grenadine to let him have a drink with dinner. I was not really ready for them to meet but I have to admit, it went really well! Boyfriend had an in since he knows Pokemon and Little Man just loves that! They bonded over dinner, talking about Pokemon and the fact that they both own a Wii system. I walked away for a minute to pet the dogs that were put outside because Little Man is afraid of big dogs and when I came back, Little Man was making boyfriend a Mii for the games! I asked Little Man on our way home what he thought of boyfriend and his response was, “He’s cool.” So cool that Little Man said boyfriend can be at his birthday and that he didn’t want his Dad there. Uh oh! I may have created a monster! I’m really glad they liked each other, the fact that my son talked to my boyfriend and wasn’t rude was amazing! He saw us kiss and said, “You know I can see you, right?”. Crazy kid. I’m so happy that things are working out well. Pray it stays this way! His opinion is very important in this relationship lasting so yes, I had to ask.

I won’t get to see boyfriend again until Valentine’s Day. We’ll be going to dinner and a concert and I have my gift for him. I actually was able to NOT give it to him this weekend. I’m proud of myself for that! I will have to pay for a sitter since its EX’s weekend to go out but that’s fine. Boyfriend is taking me to see Alice Cooper!!! So awesome, I’ve never seen him in concert! Okay, it’s 1am and EX has something so fucking loud out in the other room that I am going to go scream at him. Hugs!


Saturday today is cleaning day

And I don’t mean stuffing everything in a closet to hide stuff when company is coming! As I mentioned the other day, I cleaned my kitchen and floors. Well, EX has advised me this morning that his baby brother and brothers girlfriend are coming to our house to spend time with family since they are only 3 hours away. Well shit! Everything’s got to be clean! I can’t have my ex baby brother-in-law saying that I don’t keep things clean for Little Man! Okay, I don’t know if he would but still.

I have been putting things away, getting stuff organized, etc, etc and guess who left when I asked him to help? Yep! EX! What an ass! So the bathroom (which is disgusting) is being left alone and EX can do that when he gets back from whatever friends house he ran off to. Everything else looks f’ing perfect! Even Little Man picked up and put away all of his stuff! I folded and stacked EX’s blankets and pillows and the cutest thing happened, Amber made a bed on the top of it, just like the princess and the pea!


I gained again this week. .4 pounds to be exact. I really need to get back on track! I’m doing my steps every other day, I have been getting exercise, but all I want to do lately is eat! I’m not going to blame falling in love, being stressed, or anything else. It’s all me. BUT! Going out with someone who can eat anything and everything, plus drinking a few beers when we go out, is definitely not helping me! I even ate a Twix yesterday and I haven’t had one of those in forever but they had milk chocolate peanut butter with the regular cookie and I haven’t seen those in many years (as they have had the dark cookie usually with it) so I felt I had to. That was 250 calories of nothing! I have food to cook but haven’t, I accidentally let the veggies go bad because I haven’t been around much, and everything else in this damn house is snack food!

I’m going to have to tell boyfriend that I need to stay on track, he knows I’m doing this too so he should be understanding about it. Also I think if I stick with an appletini and not beer, I’ll save tons of calories and not drink so much since it takes me forever to drink one of those. Then again, there’s tons of candy in my house and I’m not eating it so I’m proud of that. I’m also proud that I’m getting my exercise in like I should. I can do this, I have the motivation, I have the tools, I just need to remind myself that I don’t want to weigh 209.8 or above, I want to be at 175!


Oh, not sure if mentioned this before but I joined this thing called LootCrate and it is awesome!!! I back ordered Octobers box and got a Walking Dead comic, a skull t-shirt made out of cats (the skull was), a toy, etc. January’s box was a Voltron t-shirt, a Gameboy toy, a Star Wars comic book, etc. and for $14 a month, I’m not complaining! It’s like receiving a present each month! I can’t wait for next months!



Also I got a Diamond Candle order and love it! I didn’t win an expensive ring but you get a ring inside the wonderful smelling candle and I love it! I got cupid’s cupcake one which smells like vanilla cupcakes and got sun kissed smelling candle which is supposed to smell like you hung your sheets out in the sun to dry. I was disappointed that I didn’t win an expensive ring but I also found this website to bid on jewelry and got a $180 topaz ring for $15! And beautiful earrings for under $10 each. And I got a good deal on some lingerie for Valentine’s Day with the boyfriend thanks to Dallas giving me a $25 off your order coupon. I know, I know, I am not working. BUT, my bills are all paid through March, I paid off a credit card, and I had been so down for so long that I felt the need to get myself something pretty. So I did!



So I’m doing good. Had a great evening with the boyfriend and my married friends even though my allergies were kicking my ass with all the animals I was around. And now I’m going to go get showered and dressed to hang with family. I get to see the boyfriend tomorrow and we get to watch the super bowl together. After that, I don’t know what’s going to happen! I know that I really want to have sex with him, we just don’t have a place to go! And I’m not sure about being in a car, I can just see the cops walking up and catching us. I don’t want to go to jail for indecent exposure!



Happy Friday but not for everyone

Here I sit waiting on Little Man to go back and have his dental work done. He wasn’t allowed to eat or drink this morning so I let him sleep in but he woke up at 8 for his appointment at 9. He is not happy! So I had him bring his 3DS and am letting him play his game while we wait. I will leave to go to the store once he goes back, otherwise I will be upset for him. They have to cap 4 teeth and fix 3 others! Poor kid.

If he is doing well by this afternoon, I am going to leave and go by my boyfriend’s for a while too. He always says he wants his private time so I figure that will let him be alone. This doesn’t seem like a long time but in a new relationship, a week seems like forever! So if it’s only for an hour, that’s okay. I’m still not allowed inside his roommates house so we are going to go walk his dogs.

Anyway, have a great day! I will update later. Hugs!


Little Man did great! No screaming, no complaining, so I took him to get an ice cream since they said no solids for a couple hours. I did go to my boyfriend’s but when I called Little Man to check on him and he didn’t answer, it ruined the mood so I didn’t stay long. We walked the dogs, that’s it.

EX was supposed to be staying with his girlfriend tonight but got home the same time we did from James Coney Island. His girlfriend had surgery so is staying at her parents so he’s stuck not seeing her. So I took advantage and asked if I could go out. So I picked up my boyfriend, he bought us some beer, and we’re out at my married friend’s house and the guys are playing video games while I update my status here!

It’s been a great day, I’m a happy camper getting to spend time with my man (tomorrow will be one month for us)!!! So I’m out, have a great night as I hope I will!