Weight loss surgery

Hello new readers! It’s pretty amazing when I post twice in one day but I’ve been reading your blogs about having weight loss surgery or about to have it and I’m concerned for you all.

Since you’re new to my blog, I want to tell you about me. When I was 23, I weighed 406 pounds. I had a friend that said he was getting weight loss surgery so I watched him go through everything and then went under the knife myself. I had gastro-plasty which is nowhere near as severe as all of the different surgeries they have now. It is a metal band with staples underneath it. I still have it, it doesn’t move, I still have a small stomach pouch, BUT I only lost about 100 pounds with the actual surgery. Below is the scar from having surgery (I’m so glad it’s laparoscopic now). 

 
When I was 30, I weighed 250 pounds. I got pregnant, which at 400 pounds, the doctors said would never happen (well, 25% chance). I had my son and only gained 40 pounds during the entire pregnancy and didn’t look pregnant until I was in my 9th month because I had all that space to hold him. After having the love of my life, I have struggled to lose the rest of this weight. 

I’m not saying don’t have it, I know a lot of you are completely set on doing it like my friend Kate. Let me tell you though, you don’t HAVE to do that. It will not be easy, you will have setbacks, but you can lose weight without the surgery. I have seen too many people die or have serious complications from weight loss surgery. I have also seen the wonderful people that lost a bunch of weight just to eventually stretch out their pouch and gain it all back (like the guy I watched before my surgery). I worry about you, people I have never met, because you are about to make a life changing decision. You WILL lose weight with surgery. You will also have excess skin that you will have to pay over $20,000 to remove later (could be more or less). You will throw up, A LOT, with a small pouch for a stomach. If you are having the most serious surgery, the gastric bypass, do NOT even try to drink a soda or have a Hershey Kiss after surgery because you will go into dumping mode and lose 2-4 hours of time. That happened to my friend Kate when she tried to eat steak (she only took one bite). 

The surgery works different for everybody, so take your time, read lots of people’s experiences. I’m glad I got mine but wouldn’t wish it on anybody. And I’m still struggling to lose my last 75 pounds, I’m finally only 25 pounds away from my goal, but it’s taken a long time. I never stretched out my pouch. I throw up when I eat too much or eat the wrong thing. I have ruined my teeth at the same time. 

Please, I beg you, ask questions. Read everything you can. Take your time before jumping into this decision. Feel free to write me in the comments if you need help finding other bloggers that have had the surgery. Here are a couple of pictures of the excess skin I hide under my clothes every day. Even with donating the skin, I was told it’s going to cost me $15,000. So I’m stuck with this. I will live, I don’t take off my clothes much! Still sucks though.

   
 
If I turned you off of having surgery, I will not say I’m sorry. I know now, at 41, what I should have realized at 23. I need to watch my diet and get off my ass and walk. It’s taken me a year and half to lose 40 pounds but I’m getting there!

Hugs!

Calories and you

I have been doing my plan for almost a year and a half now. I’m not good at it. I screw up all the time. But I am also well on my way to being a healthier version of myself every day.

As of yesterday, I weigh exactly 200.0. I am so excited!!! I’m only 25 pounds from my goal weight. My neighbors keep telling me how thin I’m getting and that I shouldn’t lose any more. I don’t know if they are being nice or don’t want me to look better than they do, but I know where I want to be.

Anybody can do my plan. I track my calories and I walk. That’s it. I eat what I want and sometimes go WAY over my daily calories. But there are also some days that I don’t get anywhere close to what I “should” get per day. My friend was telling me that he can’t eat all of the calories it said in order to lose a pound a week (which is the healthiest way to lose weight). So I told him, change it to lose more than that then but not more than 2 pounds per week. He’s now lost 15 pounds and is happy doing the plan. Although! He hasn’t  really started exercising yet either. I think he’s going to be in shock when he exercises and it tells him to eat more. But you have to. Your body needs those calories to keep moving!

You cannot skimp on calories people! If you do not eat the calories you are supposed to, your body will go into starvation mode, yes, even though you did eat that day! Also, all of these low fat or low calorie products are NOT helping you! I keep reading ingredients in these things and articles about the ingredients and I am shocked! Please read on what you are consuming! You may never eat those low calorie or low fat things again! I’m not saying take all processed foods out of your life. I can’t, so I wouldn’t ask anyone else to either. I’m saying instead of using aspartame (found in low calorie sweeteners), use real sugar. Yes, you will have to count those calories but in the long run, you may be able to get rid of your stomach fat (muffin top). That’s what those things do, they sit there and become fat and stick around because our bodies have no way to get rid of them. If you do not agree, please feel free to do the research and let me know what you find. I’m not trying to give bad information here! 

 
That’s just the first thing that popped up on google when I typed in aspartame and belly fat.

I’m not perfect. I still eat sweets, drink soda, and eat processed foods. I track everything though and I walk. Some days I only go out to walk the dog but I do try! I hope you will join me and use myfitnesspal and get out there and walk for a better, longer, healthier life!

Hugs!

Been a bit busy

So I am continually seeing DJ. It’s been nice. He makes me feel safe. I still wish he didn’t weigh so much but he says he is working on it. He even took my dog for a walk. He tired himself out by doing it but he did do it. He also let me buy drinks at the bar and let me use my gas to drive him around so he could buy a car. I mentioned that he can pay this weekend and he got pretty quiet. But mostly, he’s good about paying for everything. I think he got nervous because he just spent most of his money on his new used car. Everything is good so far. We haven’t even open mouth kissed, so far just pecks. Yeah, really slow.

Just found out that I only get about 5 more unemployment checks and then I’m done. This crazy part time job will not support us. EX got fired yesterday for a racial comment he made at work which didn’t surprise me. So I applied for 7 jobs today and 3 yesterday. I’ve gotta find something!!! Quickly too. So at least I still have a phone and Internet (at least for now). Something good will happen, I pray for it enough!

My car keeps screwing up. It didn’t want to start last weekend to take DJ home. Probably good since we had a crazy storm hit at the same time. We even had hail! I was grilling since I didn’t take him home when the storm came in and he ran out to the pool area and screamed for me to come inside. My neighbor said she couldn’t handle anyone that screams at her but it was for a good reason so I didn’t even notice. I had my car towed to a mechanic and of course it started when I got there. So now I’m playing the waiting game to see when it dies again so maybe they can figure out what’s wrong with it. I hate going out to start it daily because I’ll never know if today is the day!

My friends are very supportive, I really appreciate them! I thought I had allergies on Tuesday but now it’s come into some kind of infection. I stayed in bed today and have been watching Netflix all day. I’m getting tired of movies and television, even without commercials! But I can’t go to bed until Little Man does so oh well!

Watching a movie about an 18 year old blogger called Ask Me Anything which is weird since that’s what I put on my blog! Hugs!

The Little Things

It took me until my 40’s to realize some things about myself. I probably knew these things earlier but just put up with them.

Yesterday was engineers birthday and I sent him a happy birthday message. Then I realized that he may take that as I want him back. Dude, no! He never, in 4 years, introduced me to his daughter. He always wanted to be my boyfriend around my friends but only his friend around his. He would only contact me when he wanted to do something. If I tried calling him, he wouldn’t respond unless he wanted to do something. I was done when I had a miscarriage with him but he doesn’t know about that.

DJ is a great guy. But can I stand the heavy dandruff everywhere on a daily basis? Can I take walking slow because he’s a big guy and can’t keep up? Can I take all the heavy metal he plays? If I am asking these things, probably not. Also, I’m totally afraid to have sex with him. Not only do I not have a sex drive, I can’t stand the after effects and feel like I’m dripping all over after. Yuck. Period. Sex is gross. I enjoy the hell out of it but just don’t like the feelings after.

These are the little things that I have learned. I like to be clean so when someone comes over here and doesn’t bathe, doesn’t pick up their trash, wants to eat in my bed and let crumbs fly everywhere, or just brings me down to the lazy status, I can’t handle it. I enjoy having everything done, clean, organized, and put away before I be lazy. 

EX is a great example! He has his crap everywhere. I have given him space in my closet to keep stuff but he still has messes all over. He never washes his dishes out and Little Man has picked that up! I’m constantly mad about cleaning up after both of them. I gave Little Man chores and he still doesn’t do it or pretends like he doesn’t know how even though I’ve shown him 20 times. He’s about to be 10. He can take care of stuff on his own. He wants to stay home and be homeschooled next year but if he can’t even pick up his stuff, there’s no way I can let him sit around here all day! 

So I picked up around the house today for a whole 5 minutes. It already looks tons better. I still need to actually clean but it’s picked up. DJ wants to come spend the weekend again and I want a clean house. This should be interesting to see if DJ will actually help or if he is going to sit around and watch me.

Gots to go, Kansas is on the phone. Hugs!

Monday the 13th

its been 10 days since I posted. I have thought of what I could say but haven’t taken the time!

I did not go to the funeral. I didn’t want to give my grandfather a heart attack thinking that his daughter was back from the dead.

My first date with DJ could have been better. We went to eat which was pretty good at Cheddars. Then we stopped to buy our tickets to see Fast 7 but had over an hour so we went to get gas in my car and then to Denny’s to talk before the movie. We left Denny’s, got in my car, and it wouldn’t start!!! AAA came, the guy was really stupid, and it still wouldn’t start. I called a train mechanic I know, he picked us up, took us both home, and then picked me up again the next day to go work on my car. So we missed the movie. Thankfully, DJ was able to get his money back. I was amazed! Last Saturday, after 5 hours of sitting there in the parking lot on the freeway feeter road, he still couldn’t figure out what was wrong with my car. I was about to cry and just wanted to go home. EX saved the day (scary, right?). He called a tow truck friend of his and paid $100 for his friend to tow my car to the mechanic’s house. Then he brought me home. Sunday, he took me to the mechanic’s house where I got to pick up my car after spending $500 between parts and labor. 

  

I worked all last week and took Little Man to get his allergy shots. I talked to DJ quite a bit but didn’t talk to many other people. I have been people’d out lately. I was dealing with boss lady being a bitch at work (not to me) and Little Man screaming when things didn’t go his way at home. Not a great week although Little Man had a school thing on Thursday and had done artwork and sang and played drums. It was cute! The alligator hidden in green is his and the tiger that is made of lines and minimal shading is his. I think he’s doing great!

   

       

Friday night, DJ and I went to see the movie finally. Fast 7 was awesome! I love that whole series of movies. The tribute to Paul Walker at the end was great! Then, DJ followed me home and stayed the weekend at my house. I text an old friend of mine on Saturday and she told me where I can buy Kufta (an awesome spicy middle eastern beef meatballs)) here in Houston so I took Little Man, left DJ here, and got that at Phoenicia and the took Little Man and got some Pokemon books at the half price book store across the street. I also rented a couple movies from redbox but we never watched them. Oops! I picked up some Dos Equis at the grocery store and we all drank on Saturday night (me, DJ, and EX were all here this weekend). I drank 5 beers before I went to bed. After I was in bed reading, DJ came in to go to bed too. We ended up cuddling and falling asleep. Uh, not sure if that was good or not. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the hell out of it, I just worry about what it means to him. I broke his heart in 2009, I’m sure he’s being cautious with me! But he is now giving me pecks on the lips, hugs me a lot, calls me babe and honey, and now cuddling? I’m not in any rush to be in a relationship with anyone but he’s a great guy. Always has been. I only broke up with him back then because he didn’t even sponge bathe during our no electricity time during Hurricane Ike. For 3 days! So this weekend, he didn’t bathe over here either, he didn’t even change clothes! I dont know if that’s because he doesn’t like my shower, thinks it’s dirty (it’s not dirty but it is stained), or he just didn’t care. He didn’t even brush his teeth! So I made a huge deal out of showering and brushing both Saturday and Sunday just hoping he would get the hint but oh well. If he does want to eventually get back together, I’m going to have to have a talk with him about it. I hope that’s not for a while since I’m not good at confrontation! Maybe I can tell him in my “sleep”. Lol!!!

Sunday, he left when we did at 11:45am. We went to Little Man’s twin friends birthday party at this gaming place called Zuma. Then we drove out to the bar that DJ is at in Spring for an animal adoption event. I donated Amber’s dog toys that she has never played with. Then we came back home about an hour later because Little Man whined the whole hour we were out there (okay, not the whole hour but quite a bit!) so I brought him home and then left again to go out to dinner with the mechanic so I could pay him (DJ actually gave me half the money I owed the mechanic too!). It was a busy Sunday! I didn’t clean or cook either. I’m not doing it today, I might tonight but probably just get with it tomorrow. I don’t like doing anything on Monday! 

  

So there you have it, the past 10 days. It’s already almost 10am so I have to get moving!!! Hugs!

WHY did I bother???

So I told my siblings yesterday. As I said, the shit storm started. I haven’t talk to my siblings this much is months! And it wasn’t all good. 

 

 

So that wasn’t fun. Then she text me and apologized and then text me until midnight. My other sister A1 was on facebook with me until late. My brother kept calling me. It was a crazy night. Actually it was my brother that told me about A2’s post on facebook. Why would you put that out there for the world to see? And I don’t care that you apologized over text, why didn’t you just delete the damn post?

So, anyway, back to MY life! Being on bedrest, I was totally afraid that I was going to gain 5 pounds or something. I didn’t. I did gain though. Just .4 so now I am 202.6. I’m okay with that! And even though I was supposed to be laying around, my house looked like a shit hole so I did get up and clean a bit. I cleaned and organized my kitchen. I also swept the entire house. Yep, I bled a bit more but no pain! Yay! 

My date with DJ is tonight. I am looking forward to it. Since he was in a car accident a few weeks ago and doesn’t have a vehicle until the lady’s insurance pays him, he has no vehicle. I’m picking him up which is understandable, right? So I told him this morning to make our plans and I would drive wherever he said to. He already said when he gets another vehicle (he wants a suv), he will make it up to me. Whatever. We are going Dutch as well. We are both looking for jobs so I felt that would be better for both of us. We discussed it in length actually. That’s the good part about being friends before you date. I feel like I can be straight with him. What’s funny is that he is highly upset about this so he told me that on his first paycheck, he is taking me out and I will not be allowed to pay anything. Okay, I accept! :)

Little Man stayed up really late last night so it’s almost 10 and he’s still asleep. I would wake him but tonight is his Dad’s problem so I’m just letting him sleep! Hehehe! The dog wants out though so I have to get up and get moving. Yuck. Have a great good Friday and Easter weekend! Hugs!

Should I be sad?

Since I never met her, I am not really sad but I am sad for my siblings. Their grandmother, my biological grandmother, passed away on Monday. My Aunt text me to let me know and I contacted my siblings. The shit storm after was stupid.

I called my brother first, only because I was going by age and he’s the youngest. Then I called A3, my youngest sister. She said she would call A2, the middle sister, if I called A1. So I called A1 but my brother had reached her first and she was crying like crazy. I think she was the only one who cared really, other than asking nana for money according to my Aunt.

A2 text me and here it is with my reply in green. I would have called her if A3 hadn’t said she would!

 

So then A3 keeps saying thank you and says my other siblings will never say that. A1 is truly upset and said she will call me later when she can handle a conversation. My biological grandfather is doing okay but since nana did everything for him, this will be hard on him. 

Anyway, I felt they should know which is why I called them but now I kind of wished I hadn’t. Most are mad at me because I found out before them and I never knew her. It’s not my fault that my Aunt doesn’t trust them and has found out that I don’t ask for anything so she talks to me!

Any thoughts?