Yay for Saturday!!!

Todays horoscope: 

Many people of your sign are shy and withdrawn at times, unless you are spending time around people you already know and trust. Today, though, you feel energized. You may have some reason to get out and participate in a social situation today, but you will feel more outgoing and exuberant than usual. You need to spread some kind of a message or inspire others to join you on a venture that’s important to you, and your passion is fueling your unusual extroverted behavior. This will be really good for you, Moonchild, so enjoy every moment of it.

Well, I’m taking Little Man to the park and then going out with an old boyfriend tonight so does that count? 

Last night, Little Man and I played Connect 4, Mancala, and Sorry. Then he wanted to watch and delete his shows on the dvr. We went to bed early, and I got woken up by a text from gay boyfriend at 7 this morning but it was okay since I had 9 hours of sleep. Yay me!


We had fun. We just spent time together and did what we wanted to. It’s so nice to have a quiet night at home sometimes.

Gay boyfriend asked me to drive him to his mothers house when I go on my “date”. Geez dude, always butting in! I can’t even take a drive by myself? And he will bitch the whole way that he can’t smoke in my car too!

Anyway, I am going to have a good day dammit. I hope everyone else does as well. Hugs!

Finally Friday has come again

Thank goodness it’s Friday. Thank goodness that EX is going to his girlfriend’s house for the weekend. Thank goodness I finally got the dishes done. Okay, so it was after bitching a LOT to Kansas. I am at that point where I want to throw everything away and start over. There seems to be too much junk in here! A lot of it is my parents anniversary party stuff but still! I wish I didn’t need everything here. But I do use it on a daily basis so I guess it stays.

I just put meatloaf muffins in the oven to cook. Hopefully they will be good. I usually suck at making meatloaf. That’s why I tried tiny ones in a muffin pan. Hopefully these will be better. That’s what I cooked for the weekend. I made chicken last night and left it out so EX could have some. He did but then he didn’t put the rest in the fridge so guess what I had to do this morning? Yep! There goes the chicken! Right into the trash. Sad because it was good! Just used some spices and the George Foreman grill and they were yummy! I am down to 201 as of this morning. Literally 1 pound from weighing less than I did at the end of 9th grade. Funny how not yo-yo dieting will help you lose weight! No fad diets here. Just eating right and walking. I’m really staying on track so I can hit 200 next week. Then when I hit 199, I am going to jump for joy! I’m so close, I am nervous about screwing it up. So I’m being really good and eating lots of veggies in my meals too. Pray hard!

So my friend Red came over yesterday (she hated the name arthritic friend so I’m changing it to red like her hair). I felt so bad though. I was supposed to be there to pick her up when she got to the mechanic. Because of gay boyfriend who wouldn’t start moving, I didn’t even leave my house until 7:50 to take him home then drive all the way back to get her! So I picked her up and we came back to my house. Amber is in love with her too! Amber was all over Red while I ate breakfast and showered. Then we had to go pick up Little Man at school to take him to his allergy shot. He actually talked to her too! I had to leave them in the office to go to his other doctor to get his prescription refilled (same building) and they talked while I was gone. After we took Little Man back to school, we came back here and had pasta for lunch. Those Bon Appetit’s aren’t too bad and it filled me up. So I took her back to her car and went to work. Her car was ready when I took her so she lucked out! I bet she was bored over here though.

Work was just SO much fun! That was the first day this week that I was there too. Boss lady decided to ignore me for the first hour I was there since I had cleaned and organized her desk last week while she was out of town. The other girl in my office starting teaching me what she does since when she leaves in May, I will go full time and do everything she does. We aren’t telling boss lady either. Boss lady was complaining to me before I left that she has to start doing the other girls job too since she’s leaving and there’s nobody else to do it. Umm, hello? Geez, whatever! I know how to keep my mouth shut though!

So when EX got home last night, he was mad at me for volunteering him to do the skit at scouts yesterday evening. I told him, “I wouldn’t have said anything if you hadn’t already said okay!” He swears he didn’t but he did so too bad, he had to do it anyway. Little Man said he had fun at the meeting last night and is very excited that we are alone this weekend. Me too actually! My house will be clean, I will be able to sit on my couch, and I’m sorry to my friends here in Houston, but don’t bother me, I’m going silent for the weekend. I need to. Little Man and I are going to stay busy by running errands, going to the park, playing together, just having some fun mommy and son time. So if I don’t answer, anyone that reads this will know why.

I smell my food! Smells great! Here’s hoping it tastes as good as it smells. Have a great weekend everyone and I’ll talk later! Hugs!

This week is crazy!

So Monday I had jury duty. I sat there until 9:30 and then told them that my son gets home from school at 3 and I didn’t want to risk not being there. They excused me and I went home and organized the past 4 months of papers as well as laundry and other basic cleaning.

Yesterday I had the Morena appointment. After waiting an hour to get in the correct room, he used the clamps and other equipment and made me bleed like crazy and HURT until he finally says that my cervix is too small. Why the hell did you keep hurting me then??? So they said that I could go on the pill (again! What dumbasses!), keep getting the depo shot, or get this thing stuck in my arm that would last 3 years but I would still have my cycle. Screw that! I guess I’ll just stick with the damn shot every 3 months. 

Today, I am sitting at a food pantry place trying to get food with my gay boyfriend. I emptied my freezer last night so I have some food to cook tonight and ate fish for dinner (that I promptly threw back up). I’m hoping this place gives me real food and not the weird food that the other place gave me in January. I basically shared that stuff with my broke elderly neighbors, the stuff I wouldn’t eat anyway, which was most of it. He told them he was homeless but I know they will give him something to help, might even give him money. I just need food, not trying to get financial help. I hope this doesn’t take long since I have to be at work at 1.

Tomorrow Little Man has his allergy shot (thank God for Medicaid) and I’ll pick up his prescriptions as well. Plus my arthritic friend is getting her car worked on near my house and wants to hang out while she waits. So she’s coming with me to take him to his appointment and then I have to work again.

Friday I’m supposed to have a mammogram for the first time. They can’t tell me if it’s free yet either so who knows if I’ll get it done or not. I don’t want to, I know I’m supposed to though.

So on top of this crazy week, ex boyfriend emails me last night since he couldn’t get through on the phone (I blocked him). He said me breaking up was all about money! That just pissed me off and I couldn’t sleep so at midnight I finally emailed him back this LONG email letting him know exactly why I dumped him and why I didn’t want him back. I showed it to my BFF (Kansas), and she said that she shouldn’t have told me to read his email. It’s not her fault. I wanted to see the excuses he made. Well, I seriously don’t think I ever have to worry about him again. Can the drama be over now? I hate drama! It’s over, deal with it.

Damn! Gay boyfriend already got called back and I’m still sitting here. This sucks. We were here really early and these 3 black women forced their way in front of us. Shouldn’t surprise me in this area but it did. I guess I’ll just sit and be bored and hopefully not be here half the day! Hugs!

The day after

I couldn’t sleep last night because I was thinking a lot about my decision. 

I am glad I ended things. He was a very nice guy but he was draining my finances and I didn’t want to have him around.

Valentine’s Day: he got free tickets to Alice Cooper. That’s fine, I’ll take free! Once we get there, I told him I was buying a shirt. That was $30. Then I wanted a drink. Did he offer to get me one? No! He said, “Great, can I get one too?” So that was $20. I wanted more drinks so I had to go get them. Now he did drive us downtown to the concert and found a free space to park in. Then it was still early so we went to my pub that I like to go to on occasion. He again, didn’t offer to pay, more like he expected me to! So I spent $40 at the bar.

He was spending every weekend at my house. He ate my food, drank a LOT of soda, don’t forget all the beer he drank, and never offered to give me anything to help me out with the food bill. If we went out, I had to pay for whatever we did.

Rodeo carnival day: I had already spent $75 before we even went. $25 to get all 3 of us in and a $50 pack of tickets and food coupons. I let him use some coupons for rides but mostly Little Man rode. We all went on the Ferris wheel as well. Once the tickets were gone (after only an hour), Little Man wanted ice cream. He went looking at cowboy hats and said $35 was a bit too steep and looked at me like I would buy him one. I didn’t. Then he’s hungry. I give him the food coupons and say great, me too! Then he asks me for money to pay with. Ok, this was my idea, fine. I gave him my last $13 thinking he would come back with enough for both of us. He came back with a turkey leg and a drink. WTF? He said those cost the entire $13 and he didn’t use the coupon. So I’m out of cash, no food, but he’s happy. I had to go to an atm, pull out cash so I could eat and Little Man could try to win this stuffed Pokemon. So, after that, we left. We had only been there 2 hours. I spent a total of $175 for that day. That’s more than one weeks paycheck!

2 days later, I ask him if he wants to go to a job fair with me. I send him the link to it which shows what companies are coming and the times. He says yes. I tell him to update his resume and be at my house by 8 so we can be there on time. I text him at 6:30am and he says he will be on his way. He shows up at 8:30 and hasn’t done his resume! So I turn on my computer, pull up my resume, and say you can change the information. That takes him an hour so I’m already late, and then he saves the document without changing the name so my resume is now gone! I’m pissed at this point but had copies of mine printed so I say let’s go. I drive over, sign in, and start going and talking to companies. I see him not 10 minutes later just walking around. I ask him what’s up and he says that there are no companies he’s interested in talking to. Out of 16 companies??? So he tells me he is more of a blue collar worker. I’m so mad at this point that I tell him that my EX is a blue collar worker, boyfriend works in a cafeteria at a school. Totally different. I had to go to work after going home, changing, and applying at the companies that I talked to. And don’t forget, I had to rebuild my resume first! So I ask him if there’s anything at home he needs to do and he says no, I’ll just hang out here and wait for you to get home. I didn’t want him there and figured it was a good time to see how far this jumping at his ex’s command goes. I text his ex and asked her to get him out if my house. Within 15 minutes of her getting my message, he texts and says he has to go. I was glad to get him out of my house but mad that when she says jump, he says how high.

So the past 2 weekends, I have been dealing with him at my house. I already said how steak and BJ day went. He didn’t even catch on that I was watching tv. That was the only time in 2 weeks that we’ve had sex. I haven’t wanted it. At first I thought it was because of the depo shot but now I know that I was already done with him and wanted him out of my life. If he had offered to buy dinner or something just ONCE, I might have changed my mind but I doubt it. 

This is not all that happened. Those are just the main instances that stick out in my mind.

But now of course I am alone again which freaks me out. I think that’s why I hung on to him as long as I did. I have a hard time being alone. That’s why I stuck to engineer for 4 years even though he made me cry multiple times. I cried yesterday but it wasn’t about him, it was that I couldn’t even make that work so how will I make anything work? At least I’m not contacting engineer or any of my other ex’s. I don’t want them either. I’m just going to have to be alone again for a while. 

I’m sitting at jury duty now. I do not want to be here and I’m praying I don’t get picked. This place is crazy! There are 4 rooms full of people that had to take time off work in order to sit here and wait. I don’t get paid for today either which sucks ass. 

Anyway, guess I’m going to read. Have a good Monday! Hugs!

Life goes on

So I dumped boyfriend today. I tried on Friday when he came over but couldn’t do it. He always has this look of defeat on his face. 

I figured out that things have been going downhill since Valentine’s Day. When he said my gift to him was too practical, and then said I was too sappy, I started being done. And on Steak and BJ day, I felt I HAD to do it. I don’t know why, I just thought I did. Not like he had paid for anything on Valentine’s night either, I did! I bought the drinks at the concert and the t-shirt. I paid for the drinks at the bar too. He brought me a cheap teddy bear (one that you get on the side of the road out of a truck). I bought his steak and cooked it. When the other part of the night came, I cringed inside but did it. I also watched tv the entire time. That’s pretty sad, I know.

So he came over on Friday and I had to argue with him about him bringing beer. When he mentioned that it was his paycheck day, I asked him if he was going to bring beer over. His reply? Don’t you get paid too? WTF? I asked him about it on Friday and his reply was that he was responding to something else I had said. I looked at the texts yesterday after he left and that’s not a good answer and doesn’t follow the conversation at all. Yes, he stayed the night Friday. I barely kissed him and wouldn’t do anything else with him. Most men would catch a clue that something was really wrong. So my attempt to end it Friday night didn’t work. I have issues with confrontation, obviously. So I wrote him a letter, put it in his bag with his stuff, and drove over to his place this morning and dropped it outside his house. I drive halfway out of the neighborhood and text him to let him know it was out there. He asked why I didn’t ring the bell and stay a while. I responded I didn’t want to and kept driving home. After that, he text me a bunch asking if I was mad at him and even called and left a sad voicemail asking about it. Since he finally stopped, I’m guessing he finally saw the letter or he is just leaving me alone. Who knows and who cares?

Yes, he was a nice guy. But whenever his ex would call, he went running. When it came to going out anywhere, he expected me to pay. It’s been 3 months of this! I’m way past being done. My sister said I’m sorry and asked if I was okay, now the funny part is I feel relieved and relaxed. I can’t explain how much happier I feel that I don’t have to deal with him, his ex, or anything to do with him ever again!

I will not be online dating again. I’ve done it twice. The first guy was not a clean enough person for me, he didn’t even sponge bathe for days when we didn’t have power. He and I are now friends which is good. He’s a nice guy as well. This one was too cheap. My fake Dad said he could tell that he wasn’t going to be good for me when he saw him. He told me it was his job to size people up for years when he worked the carnivals, and he knew 3 months ago. He was glad I finally got “with the program” but sorry that it took me so long. It really didn’t, I was just hoping he would change or try to be better. I just couldn’t do it anymore.

So now for the next chapter of my life. Little Man is a bit upset that boyfriend won’t be around anymore because they actually played together. He will be fine though. He’s a tough kid that way.

My phone is about to die so I’m going to stop for now. I’ll be back though!


Whatever Wednesday 

There are so many times that I’ve thought someone was my friend and it turns out that they really don’t care or don’t like me. Well, that’s okay. But why do they keep me as a friend on social media? Makes no sense! Stupid people irritate me sometimes.

Things in my brain have been making my enjoyment of life with boyfriend difficult because I know what a great guy he is but my brain seems to want me to dump him. That’s really frustrating! Thank goodness I go with my gut instead of my brain! I’d be single forever if I listened to my brain all the time. Okay, there are little habits that bug me but I’m sure I have habits that bug him too! He’s so sweet, told me today that he thinks about me a lot.

The only reason to hate spring break is the fact that my child doesn’t want to shower, brush his teeth, or do anything he’s supposed to! School starts again on Monday and the stupid Starr testing is in April so he needs to prepare. He doesn’t care though, it’s Spring Break Mommy! I left him some practice questions and he hasn’t even looked at them!

EX arguing with his girlfriend at 5:30am is so much fun! I get woken up, he’s acting pissy, slamming doors and such. I was waiting for him to wake up Little Man! He’s sick too so being more lazy than usual. I’m still expected to take out the trash, do dishes, cook, clean, laundry, and he gets to sit on his ass? Wth?!?

I’m sick with some sinus issue this week. Could be from my co-worker who is now on vacation or could be from my lunch date this past weekend. Yes, I went out to lunch with my ex from 2009. No, I didn’t cheat on boyfriend and won’t cheat. The guy is just my friend, plus I needed to remind myself how good boyfriend is for me! I’m working full time while sick this week but can’t help that since my co-worker is out of town. 

Next week will be insane! Monday I have jury duty, Tuesday I will finally get the Morena (or however it’s spelled), Wednesday take Little Man to get his allergy shot, Thursday I’m actually free, and Friday I have my first mammogram. And don’t forget I have to work every afternoon! No wonder I am enjoying working part time! I don’t have time to get stuff done working full time!

Boyfriend will come over on Friday, we are going to see Brad Paisley at the rodeo on Saturday, and he’s going home on Sunday morning. And of course, Sunday is my busy day getting ready for the week so yeah. I don’t have time to be this sick!!! DayQuil and NyQuil are my best friends right now. I’ve gone through half a box of Kleenex in 3 days too.

So my NyQuil is kicking in so I’m going to sleep. Hugs!

Watching TV for once/My home needs help

So I’m watching Rehab Addict. I LOVE this show! I need the motivation to finish my condo so I can rent it out next year. I’m going to have to do the work myself as well to save as much as possible so I’m a bit in over my head. My tile flooring is only 5 years old as well as my kitchen and appliances. i will clean the grout before I rent it out of course.

Those don’t need help but the counter has already cracked between the stove and the fridge so that has to be replaced.

That will probably be the biggest cost. The kitchen cabinets are fine but I need to take off the cabinet doors and fix them because they don’t close and has so many layers of paint that they are not looking good. Probably sand off all the paint, paint them unless the original color looks good, and replace the hardware keeping them on.

I have a popcorn ceiling that HAS to be removed. Why in the 60’s and 70’s did people think this looked good? It’s all over the house so that’s a huge job! Plus when I had my electrical done, there are those lovely holes in the ceiling. There are some in the bedroom as well.

My bathroom has GOT to be redone, the tub faucet leaks and is rusted underneath. 

I also have a water leak in my front window that the management company says is not there so I need to rip out the drywall and prove that they need to fix it.

Plus normal things like paint, cleaning the grout, and just scrubbing everything. Maybe I should start a fund me just to get all this done! Or maybe some nice contractor will donate his time and help me! 

So tell me what you think. I already removed the 70’s mirrored wall that was in my dining area. Under the tile is concrete so I’m not hiding any beautiful wood flooring or anything. I removed the 70’s strange looking wallpaper in every room. It was really bad! On the bookshelves, I actually had to just paint over the wallpaper, that shiny stuff would not come off, even with the wallpaper removal tools! 

If you know anyone in the Houston area willing to help me at the only cost of some beer or dinner daily, I’m happy to accept the help too!