Yep. I forgot to try to remember to blog. 

Biological father was sent to the hospital a few weeks ago with severely low blood pressure so I drove to stay with him. He’s fine now thankfully.

I’ve been cleaning and organizing people’s places and driving around for cash to pay bills. I’m still okay! My parents said if I have to, I can move in with them but I really don’t want to have to do that. I can pay bills for another 2 weeks. I am keeping at it and apply for more than 30 jobs a week too. I don’t want to work for anyone else anymore but in order to keep my state benefits, I have to try so I am. I’ll take a job if I have to.

Little Man and I got to go to San Antonio for a couple of days to get away before school starts. We went to the Alamo, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not, walked the riverwalk, ate at Dick’s Last Resort, and took a sightseeing bus. We stayed at a haunted hotel but I didn’t see or hear anything. Little Man said he kept hearing monkeys though.

I found out today that Little Man has been put into an accelerated class this year. I’m so excited about it! Finally! Maybe he won’t be so bored this year.

So here’s what I want to say today. I do NOT want to get back with Little Man’s Dad (EX). I have realized though what loving someone truly means. When we came back from our trip, I had brought home the soap, shampoo, and lotion that the hotel leaves for you for him. I told him last night that I know he will not live here forever and that I was starting a bag of toiletries for when he does move to help him out. That made me realize that I still care about him. Not personally but as a person.

So tomorrow I meet the teacher. Once school starts, I’ll market myself more and start making more dough so we can stay here and be happy. Hugs everyone!


Nothing new lately

Seriously! Nothing new has been going on lately. 

I went out with BFF to a bar to meet my biological fathers buddy last weekend. He was really nice. I met a guy there as well but don’t think I want to date a 60 year old that reminds me of Barry Manilow. He’s nice, just not for me.

My parents came back from their cruise this past Monday and are happy with the work I’ve already done in their place. My mom wants me to come finish for pay too. She even suggested that we move in until I’m on my feet again. She thinks it’ll be about a year of living together. They would benefit them as well having a cook and house cleaner living there. We would each have our own rooms which would be nice. The problem I see is if I want to do anything I will get grilled like I was back in high school.

This past week I drove my parents friend to her radiation treatment every day and made a whopping $100. I also paid a mechanic to come bypass the padlock system in my car. I haven’t had any problems starting it since! Whoop whoop!!!!!

I got approved for food stamps! That’s really good as we need it. I also got approved for TANF (Texas aid for needy families). The problem I have with that is they are going to give me $230 a month, take away any child support I get, make me look for jobs for 35 hours a week, and if I don’t get a job within a month, I have to do community service. That’s just plain stupid. For that much money, I could get my child support (it’s the same amount per month), I could babysit for 4 days a month and still make that much, I could help my parents elderly friends and make that much! If I did all of those things, I would be getting much more than our lovely government thinks I should get. So yes, I think it’s stupid.

I applied for 25 jobs last week and 56 this week. I have had no leads from any of the applications either. Whatever. I’m tired of trying. I refuse to go back to the high stress and drama in the corporate travel jobs I used to do. I want to use my degree and get into human resources. I can’t figure out why it’s so hard to change.

I took Little Man and his friend to Space City Comic Con yesterday. They had a great time and I got to meet Lori Petty!!! I love her as an actress! She’s great! I wish I could afford to go every day this weekend but it’s okay. I was happy with our free tickets yesterday! Free is good. 

Enjoy your weekend! Hugs!

The aftermath 

The party is over. I should be happy or relaxed, I’m not. I finally also finished Scandal on Netflix. Now I’m watching Sense 8 but it’s not helping my feelings. Last night I took my meds plus drank a few beers. I passed out at 9pm and slept 12 1/2 hours. I plan on doing the same thing tonight. My mom leaves for Atlanta at 5am and says she wants my phone charger for their cruise. I put that as well as other stuff from the party in a bag for them but have no drive to take it over to their house. I just took my medicine and have had a few beers already tonight. I just want to sleep. 

The party was great. Their friends that came were very sweet and positive to me about the party. The food was awesome I was told as well as the cake. I did not get to eat the barbecue (too busy welcoming guests) and only had 2 bites of the cake because it was way too strong for my taste. It was amaretto and stronger than I thought it would be. I haven’t seen any pictures yet but I’m sure they came out great. I went back yesterday to clean and I was told today that I’ll get my money back. I’m happy to get my $200 back since I have no more money coming in. My parents leave for their cruise in a few days and they will have a great time. I’ll be taking care of their house while they are gone too so I get a vacation (kind of a staycation but yeah).  Below is the cake from the party as well as my mom’s wedding dress from 1965 that she wants me to sell.

I’m not doing that great anxiety wise. I started taking Prozac a week ago but it doesn’t seem to help. I want to drink all the time. I smoke a cigarette and 10 minutes later don’t remember I did so I smoke again. It’s like oops, I forgot! This coming from the person that was quitting! 

Anyway, I need to concentrate on finding a job that doesn’t require me to remember things or have much responsibility and let’s me only work during weekdays so I can be there for my child in the evenings and weekends. If you know of anything like that, let me know. My medicine makes me forget things so I have trouble remembering. I’m going to watch Netflix tonight and pass out, I hope everyone has a great week! Hugs!


What a day, a LONG day

I woke up early. I was showered and dressed this morning and ready to go get everything done. I left my house with no problem. I went to the bank to cash my birthday check from my Dad, every little bit helps. I left the bank and my car wouldn’t start. I sat there for 10 minutes until the security light stopped blinking and then it started just fine. I then went to the Scout Store to pick up Little Man’s new shirt. When I left, my car wouldn’t start! So I sat, again, for 10 minutes and then it started. I had so much else to do I didn’t want to go through that every single time as it got hotter and hotter so I ran by my parents house. 

I have always kept my extra car key at my parents house. This key wasn’t taken for the GM recall last year like my original key was. I put this key in my car and had no problem starting the car. I wanted to make sure so I turned it off and on 3 more times. It started so I took the key with me. I then went to get tablecloths for the party on Saturday. Since my family is now in town, I decided to get my car washed. 

I stopped at this place by my house that has an express wash for $7. I paid, drove around, and put my car in neutral. I started through the wash. About halfway through, there was a car stopped in front of me. I stopped as quick as I could. About a minute later, they got the vehicle moved and I could finish my wash. When I pulled out, this guy comes up to me and says I hit the car in front of me and they have to call the police and file a report after they check the cameras. Another guy came up and said I was in drive and that it was my fault. Since I KNOW that I was in neutral and KNOW that I didn’t touch the dudes vehicle, I made a phone call while looking at my car which even proved I didn’t touch the guys car. When the person answered, I told him that I needed to speak to him as an attorney (he’s not one), all of the sudden the guy has no damage to his vehicle and there’s no problem. Gee I wonder why you have no damage??? F’ing a-hole! I’m never going to that place again either. 

So after all that, I got gas and came home. I had to take my medicine and take a nap. I was very upset and totally stressed and couldn’t take it. 

My neighbor had her new couch delivered today and I gave the delivery guys $20 to bring her old couch to my house. I got it set up and took my nap on it. I slept really well for an hour and a half. I missed my interview call from the food stamp office though! I can call them tomorrow though.

I went and had dinner with my cousin, uncle, and aunt tonight too. We had barbecue at some place in Willowbrook. My cousin wanted to watch the Astros game so I asked them to turn the tv to the game for my family and they did! Little Man even ate what he ordered and was happy with it! It was a great dinner. I will be going to the Astros game tomorrow night with my cousin too. I’m so glad he came. I love my cousin like crazy. He’s the only one I care about in the crazy family I was brought up in. 

Now I can’t sleep and I’m just watching Scandal on Netflix. Maybe it’s because of my nap or maybe it’s because I had such a long and stressful day. I don’t have anywhere I need to go tomorrow morning and I don’t have to take Little Man to the game so I think that I will have a better day tomorrow.

Have a good night! Hugs!


My 42nd birthday 

I turned 42 yesterday. I’m can’t believe I am 42! I don’t look 42!

It was a pretty good day although I was not ready for it. My sister came with her family and my friend with her son. My brother-in-law did the grilling but only because I got a bit pissy. I had to get the food for my party including my own cake. I had to season the ground beef to make burgers. I had to take everything out to the pool area and then bring it all back to the house. So yes, I did not want to cook the food too! So he complained but grilled. Thank God for small favors. 

After everyone finally left, I had to change clothes and go to dinner with my parents. They invited their friend to go to my birthday dinner as well. Well, I don’t feel bad that I invited my friends to their party! Of course, everyone knows each other so it doesn’t matter. I already told my parents which friends of mine were coming and they seemed pretty happy about it too! We went to Olive Garden. It was either that or Pappasitos. I just wanted a huge beer and some pasta (or some tamales). I ordered a beer and wouldn’t you know it, it didn’t taste good so I didn’t drink even half of it. My Dad had 2! We all had our food and my Mom gave me a purse. It’s not something I would carry but it was a nice thought. When I got home, I saw how burnt I got. It doesn’t hurt though thankfully! I was sitting in the shade the whole time so I have no clue why it’s this bad!

I didn’t lose any weight this week but I didn’t gain either. I’ve started the Prozac this week so I have only felt like sleeping (one of the side effects). So my steps have been pretty low and I’ve still been eating like usual. So yeah, that’s my own fault.

Have a great week! Hugs! 

Birthday and Father’s Day

Here’s the pictures from his party. The kids had a blast!!! He got cash which he immediately took to the bookstore where he bought 8 Pokemon books plus he got tons of Pokemon cards from his friends which is what he wanted. Great 10th birthday! He even had a Pokemon pokeball cake that had m&m’s coming out when you cut it open in addition to the pokeball cupcakes you see below! We had so much cake leftover that a bunch of my neighbors got some so they were happy too.   
           We went to see my biological father this past week for Father’s Day. He’s about 2 hour drive from me. That was fun even though he got on my nerves talking about how Little Man needs to grow up and I got eaten up my huge Mosquitos. We saw Jurassic World which was great too. It was nice to get away, even if it was just for 24 hours.

That’s the past couple of weeks in pictures! Hugs! 

I’m awake at 3am

I started taking a new medication yesterday for my anxiety. You may know it, it’s called Prozac. My doctor is hoping that since my unemployment has run out, I will qualify to get on Medicaid and be able to go to a psychiatrist to make sure this is a good fit and get the anxiety under control. 

I watched a kid all day yesterday too and taking a new medicine the same day? Umm! When his mom came to pick him up, she asked how my doctor appointment went on Monday so I told her the truth. She proceeds to let me know that all my problems can be solved and I won’t need medication if I can just figure out the source of the problem. Also said that God didn’t intend for us to be on medication and I just need to figure it out. WTH! My sister says I should smack her, my friend thinks she’s nuts, I just want to be left alone. This is why I don’t talk about myself! Now I don’t know if she’s going to bring her son back to me and that was an extra $50 a week which I can really use! 

So I had a couple of beers when she left because that conversation just made me more anxious. I ended up passing out at 7:30pm and woke up around 1:20 this morning. I feel great! Only problem I can see is that it’s the middle of the night and I’m wide awake and not going back to sleep anytime soon. Little Man isn’t helping either. He’s still awake and watching his iPad with headphones on. I can hear him giggle every once in a while or talk back to the show. 

So this coming Saturday I will be 42. I don’t believe it so I’m only 39, again, for the 3rd time. My schizo sister says she and her family are coming down here to celebrate too. Oh goody. I can be miserable plus entertain! Woo hoo! I hope they bring alcohol, my brother in law DOES work for Budweiser! I got a cookie cake like 6 months ago from Groupon which I totally forgot about so that was a nice surprise to have for my birthday. I now only need food to serve. Anyone else want to come to the pool and bring food for 12 people? I told Little Man he could have a couple of friends as well since otherwise he would be a pain. That’s why I say 12 people. Oh yeah, that lovely person said they “may” come Saturday. Whatever! I hate that! If you don’t like it, just walk away! I mean really! Get over yourself! 

Okay, off my little rant. I have gained weight and gone back to 206.3. My doctor thinks this medication will help with that too. So far, all I have is dizzy and want to drink a lot. I guess I’ll have to start drinking water more again. That would be better for me than the 2 mountain dews I just had in the past 2 hours! Yes, I know why I gained. It’s my own fault. I’ll lose it again too. I’m not worried!

If you like these posts, please let me know if you think they are sponsor worthy. I’m thinking of trying that too! Hugs!