What a day, a LONG day

I woke up early. I was showered and dressed this morning and ready to go get everything done. I left my house with no problem. I went to the bank to cash my birthday check from my Dad, every little bit helps. I left the bank and my car wouldn’t start. I sat there for 10 minutes until the security light stopped blinking and then it started just fine. I then went to the Scout Store to pick up Little Man’s new shirt. When I left, my car wouldn’t start! So I sat, again, for 10 minutes and then it started. I had so much else to do I didn’t want to go through that every single time as it got hotter and hotter so I ran by my parents house. 

I have always kept my extra car key at my parents house. This key wasn’t taken for the GM recall last year like my original key was. I put this key in my car and had no problem starting the car. I wanted to make sure so I turned it off and on 3 more times. It started so I took the key with me. I then went to get tablecloths for the party on Saturday. Since my family is now in town, I decided to get my car washed. 

I stopped at this place by my house that has an express wash for $7. I paid, drove around, and put my car in neutral. I started through the wash. About halfway through, there was a car stopped in front of me. I stopped as quick as I could. About a minute later, they got the vehicle moved and I could finish my wash. When I pulled out, this guy comes up to me and says I hit the car in front of me and they have to call the police and file a report after they check the cameras. Another guy came up and said I was in drive and that it was my fault. Since I KNOW that I was in neutral and KNOW that I didn’t touch the dudes vehicle, I made a phone call while looking at my car which even proved I didn’t touch the guys car. When the person answered, I told him that I needed to speak to him as an attorney (he’s not one), all of the sudden the guy has no damage to his vehicle and there’s no problem. Gee I wonder why you have no damage??? F’ing a-hole! I’m never going to that place again either. 

So after all that, I got gas and came home. I had to take my medicine and take a nap. I was very upset and totally stressed and couldn’t take it. 

My neighbor had her new couch delivered today and I gave the delivery guys $20 to bring her old couch to my house. I got it set up and took my nap on it. I slept really well for an hour and a half. I missed my interview call from the food stamp office though! I can call them tomorrow though.

I went and had dinner with my cousin, uncle, and aunt tonight too. We had barbecue at some place in Willowbrook. My cousin wanted to watch the Astros game so I asked them to turn the tv to the game for my family and they did! Little Man even ate what he ordered and was happy with it! It was a great dinner. I will be going to the Astros game tomorrow night with my cousin too. I’m so glad he came. I love my cousin like crazy. He’s the only one I care about in the crazy family I was brought up in. 

Now I can’t sleep and I’m just watching Scandal on Netflix. Maybe it’s because of my nap or maybe it’s because I had such a long and stressful day. I don’t have anywhere I need to go tomorrow morning and I don’t have to take Little Man to the game so I think that I will have a better day tomorrow.

Have a good night! Hugs!

   
   

My 42nd birthday 

I turned 42 yesterday. I’m can’t believe I am 42! I don’t look 42!

It was a pretty good day although I was not ready for it. My sister came with her family and my friend with her son. My brother-in-law did the grilling but only because I got a bit pissy. I had to get the food for my party including my own cake. I had to season the ground beef to make burgers. I had to take everything out to the pool area and then bring it all back to the house. So yes, I did not want to cook the food too! So he complained but grilled. Thank God for small favors. 

After everyone finally left, I had to change clothes and go to dinner with my parents. They invited their friend to go to my birthday dinner as well. Well, I don’t feel bad that I invited my friends to their party! Of course, everyone knows each other so it doesn’t matter. I already told my parents which friends of mine were coming and they seemed pretty happy about it too! We went to Olive Garden. It was either that or Pappasitos. I just wanted a huge beer and some pasta (or some tamales). I ordered a beer and wouldn’t you know it, it didn’t taste good so I didn’t drink even half of it. My Dad had 2! We all had our food and my Mom gave me a purse. It’s not something I would carry but it was a nice thought. When I got home, I saw how burnt I got. It doesn’t hurt though thankfully! I was sitting in the shade the whole time so I have no clue why it’s this bad!

I didn’t lose any weight this week but I didn’t gain either. I’ve started the Prozac this week so I have only felt like sleeping (one of the side effects). So my steps have been pretty low and I’ve still been eating like usual. So yeah, that’s my own fault.

   
        
Have a great week! Hugs! 

Birthday and Father’s Day

Here’s the pictures from his party. The kids had a blast!!! He got cash which he immediately took to the bookstore where he bought 8 Pokemon books plus he got tons of Pokemon cards from his friends which is what he wanted. Great 10th birthday! He even had a Pokemon pokeball cake that had m&m’s coming out when you cut it open in addition to the pokeball cupcakes you see below! We had so much cake leftover that a bunch of my neighbors got some so they were happy too.   
           We went to see my biological father this past week for Father’s Day. He’s about 2 hour drive from me. That was fun even though he got on my nerves talking about how Little Man needs to grow up and I got eaten up my huge Mosquitos. We saw Jurassic World which was great too. It was nice to get away, even if it was just for 24 hours.

   
  
That’s the past couple of weeks in pictures! Hugs! 

I’m awake at 3am

I started taking a new medication yesterday for my anxiety. You may know it, it’s called Prozac. My doctor is hoping that since my unemployment has run out, I will qualify to get on Medicaid and be able to go to a psychiatrist to make sure this is a good fit and get the anxiety under control. 

I watched a kid all day yesterday too and taking a new medicine the same day? Umm! When his mom came to pick him up, she asked how my doctor appointment went on Monday so I told her the truth. She proceeds to let me know that all my problems can be solved and I won’t need medication if I can just figure out the source of the problem. Also said that God didn’t intend for us to be on medication and I just need to figure it out. WTH! My sister says I should smack her, my friend thinks she’s nuts, I just want to be left alone. This is why I don’t talk about myself! Now I don’t know if she’s going to bring her son back to me and that was an extra $50 a week which I can really use! 

So I had a couple of beers when she left because that conversation just made me more anxious. I ended up passing out at 7:30pm and woke up around 1:20 this morning. I feel great! Only problem I can see is that it’s the middle of the night and I’m wide awake and not going back to sleep anytime soon. Little Man isn’t helping either. He’s still awake and watching his iPad with headphones on. I can hear him giggle every once in a while or talk back to the show. 

So this coming Saturday I will be 42. I don’t believe it so I’m only 39, again, for the 3rd time. My schizo sister says she and her family are coming down here to celebrate too. Oh goody. I can be miserable plus entertain! Woo hoo! I hope they bring alcohol, my brother in law DOES work for Budweiser! I got a cookie cake like 6 months ago from Groupon which I totally forgot about so that was a nice surprise to have for my birthday. I now only need food to serve. Anyone else want to come to the pool and bring food for 12 people? I told Little Man he could have a couple of friends as well since otherwise he would be a pain. That’s why I say 12 people. Oh yeah, that lovely person said they “may” come Saturday. Whatever! I hate that! If you don’t like it, just walk away! I mean really! Get over yourself! 

Okay, off my little rant. I have gained weight and gone back to 206.3. My doctor thinks this medication will help with that too. So far, all I have is dizzy and want to drink a lot. I guess I’ll have to start drinking water more again. That would be better for me than the 2 mountain dews I just had in the past 2 hours! Yes, I know why I gained. It’s my own fault. I’ll lose it again too. I’m not worried!

If you like these posts, please let me know if you think they are sponsor worthy. I’m thinking of trying that too! Hugs! 

What an effing day

I am SO tired of people telling me that I’m just depressed and don’t have anxiety! How the hell would they know anyway? 

So unemployment is over. I have applied for government assistance, I have plenty of food, and I am still applying for every decent job I can find but nothing has come up. I am still doing mommy summer school and Little Man is still doing good (only 2 failing grades so far). I have set up to get paid to watch my friends kids for the rest of the summer to make extra money so I know I’ll be okay bill wise. My parents helped by paying for Little Man’s 10th birthday party so that’s covered and I’ve paid for my parents 50th anniversary party already so that’s covered. Little Man is going to Twilight Camp this week with the Cub Scouts and next week goes to a week long sleepover camp which he did last year too. He loves it so of course I’m letting him go again! This is NOT what’s making me anxious! 

I have been having more and more attacks lately for no reason. I haven’t seen my doctor about it because I can’t afford to. Alas, now that I’m completely out of any and all medication, I am sucking it up and have requested an appointment. I’m not sure what they can do, but I’m taking my gay boyfriend with me so they know it’s not bull. Stupidly, I thought alcohol could replace the meds but that backfired as well so I’m just waiting on the appointment to come through. I always try to help everyone else but it seems like when I need help, I don’t get shit. Quite a few people owe me money but I won’t ask them for it, they know they owe me. I probably should though. I’m at the point of selling stuff in my house that I don’t use! If you want to help, my name on eBay is juliebb29. I posted 9 things on there!

I know I’m skipping around subjects, I’ve had a few beers this evening. When I was almost broke, I bought quite a few bottles of wine so I would have alcohol when I was broke. I know, that’s silly but I won’t be able to buy beer anymore so why not have something that I’ll be able to drink? 

I’m frustrated, anxious, and stressed out. NOT a good combination! If anyone knows how to help, please comment! Hugs!

  

Well, I want to cuss

So I found out today that the girl who is supposed to be my friend is the one who got me fired from the crappy part time job that I had. And now the unemployment office may take away my last 2 checks because of what she said. WTF? Yes, I was out for a week because my dumbass jumped a train. No, the emergency room did not give me a doctors note for the week of work I missed with no pay. So why did they tell me when they called that I was getting laid off because they were going in a different direction and had been losing money but told the unemployment office said that they fired me because I missed a week of work with no excuse???

So now because of this stupid woman, I may not get my last 2 unemployment checks. She was supposed to be my friend and was supposed to work at my parents anniversary party! Well, I fired her for the party and hired a teenager for less money instead. What does she expect? I should have known something was up when she wasn’t on my Facebook anymore in mid May. After she screwed me over with her company, she deleted me off Facebook and then had the nerve to say she didn’t do it when I called her out on it! OMG, you have NO clue how mad I’ve been tonight! Even after having a few (6) beers to calm down, I still want to walk the 4 blocks to her house and beat her ass!

ARGH!!!!

In other news, Little Man is doing great with Mommy summer school! He’s already done a book report last week and 2 days of 3 hours of work per day school wise. He’s also doing his chores,watching how he talks to me, and doing what is asked of him. I couldn’t be happier! Let’s hope he keeps this up, if he does, I told him he can do homeschooling for 5th grade.

My biological mothers friend from high school posted a picture of me asking her friends if anyone knows who my father might be. Their 40th class reunion is coming up this summer so she’s hitting up everyone. I told her I think I should just go with her. I would not only freak people out since I look like her but maybe I could get a job at the same time plus maybe find my father! What do you guys think about all that?

Anyway, I’m about to pass out. Anxiety meds plus booze equals sleep! I’ll leave you with the first pool picture of the year. Hugs! 

  

Hey you!!!

So I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been having anxiety issues, big time! I’m sure you guys can understand it as well if you still hadn’t found a job and your unemployment runs out in one more check! 

I have been working really hard at getting off those pounds that I put on while I was dating that dude. As of today, I’m down (AGAIN) to 201.3. Hopefully within one more week, I’ll be back at 200 (maybe less!). So this week I decided to cut out half the soda I was drinking daily. I don’t do diet drinks (aspartame is BAD) so to save some calories, I have to not drink my Pepsi or Mountain Dew like usual. 

This is my lunch today. It is a big bag of Funyons, a Skinny Cow Heavenly Crisp, a Pepsi, and a sandwich made with whole wheat bread (fiber!) and Underwood Chicken Spread (protein!). I am not only going to show you this HUGE lunch that is going to take me all afternoon to eat, I am going to show you the breakdown of what I’m eating. The sugar obviously is coming from the soda, the salt from the chips (although did you know a big bag of Funyons is only 160 calories?), and the carbs are from the bread, chips, and soda. 

Hmm, having uploading issues! I’m not sure how to get that fixed but anyway, last week I was at 203 and by walking more (I had really slacked off for a while) and eating only the calories I’m supposed to daily, I’m back on track. We all gain and screw up every once in a while, it’s called life. 

Little Man is doing good being schooled at home so far. He already read a book and wrote me a 2 page book report on it! Tonight is his Scout graduation and he will become a Webelos 2. He passed 4th grade with all B’s. So I’m proud of him!

Finally got the pictures to upload!